28: How to get free frequent flyer points

Don't get mad, get even more free frequent flyer miles
I get a ton of spam. If you've had the same email address for a while, chances are a spammer has trolled the internet and scooped it up. I recently got a spam email from Northworst Airlines which landed in my inbox while I was having my male period. I decided to write them one of my patented, consumer complaint letters but not with any real expectation they'd read it, let alone respond (and offer 5500 frequent flyer points). Their response is first, followed by my initial scathing letter. Amusing reading if nothing else.

Northwest Airlines' response to my initial email regarding their poor service
De: Northwest Airlines
Para: El Desconocido
Enviado: martes, 12 de junio, 2007 11:31:03
Asunto: Re: ET-nwa.com Comments/Suggestions (KMM11975437V4187L0KM)

Dear Mr. Desconocido,

RE: Case Number 3907620

In your recent email, you alerted us to several problems with our service. Your feedback is important to us and we thank you for taking the time to write. On behalf of Northwest Airlines, we sincerely apologize for letting you down in so many ways. I can understand why you wanted to share your disappointment.

First and foremost, we expect our employees to treat all our customers in a polite, courteous, and professional manner. We will do our utmost to demonstrate by our actions that we are committed to service excellence.

In addition, we want to make travel on Northwest and our SkyTeam partners convenient for our passengers, and we feel our complimentary luggage allowance for both domestic and international travel is adequate. Understandably and due to aircraft weight limitations, we can
only permit a limited amount of luggage to be checked or brought onboard an aircraft. As a result, we have established a maximum luggage allowance per passenger.

We appreciate your feedback, Mr. Desconocido. Many customers, like you, share their observations and suggestions with us. These unsolicited remarks form the basis for many improvements in our service.

Be assured that your comments will be forwarded to the responsible individuals within Northwest.

Please know we value you as a customer, and for that reason we have added 5500 WorldPerks bonus miles to your account 490827864. You may visit our website at www.nwa.com/freqfly/ to verify these miles have been posted. Please allow 3 business days for miles to appear.

We appreciate the opportunity to review your concerns, Mr. Desconocido and look forward to serving your air travel needs in the months and years ahead.

Sincerely,

Ann xxxxxxxxxx
Customer Care
Northwest/KLM Airlines

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My original response to their spam email

I don't expect you'll actually read this, but I thought I would take this opportunity to offer some suggestions for customer service. NWA and the rest of the collective U.S. airline system is nothing more than a fleet of flying Greyhound buses with wings. The customer pays a fee to merely get to the other side. Most requests for anything that even remotely resembles customer service is met by a snide, snotty attitude by airline personnel. They act as if they're doing you a favor by simply doing their job, which is partly true since they're paid a paltry sum and are continually asked to make concessions for the benefit of the company--and the lack of upper management willing to take a cut of their own pay (considering they're making the unpopular decisions).

If given a choice, I, along with many other people I've spoken to, would prefer to take international carriers for domestic US flights if such a thing existed. You would be wise to study the business models of companies like Air New Zealand, Virgin Air, or even so-called banana
republic airlines like Air Namibia and Air Mauritius which are heads and tails above anything the US airline industry has ever seen.

In short, pay your staff enough to actually care and they might provide better service. Their resentment towards upper management translates into negative attitudes that are so obvious, they're nearly palpable. Stop charging passengers for peanuts and a drink. If I paid you $500
for a ticket, I think that no matter what your company's financial siuation, you can afford to cough up at least this much without breaking the bank. It's frivolous and only leaves a bad impression on passengers.

Regarding your so-called oversized baggage charges, this is a complete joke. Whether I pay you the money or not, my surfboards still fit on the plane just the same. The baggage handlers never see a dime of that money, so why charge it? It's just straight profit to the company for
essentially nothing. You've damaged my boards before and claimed that you "weren't responsible." Well, if I pay you your extortionate fee for transporting my boards, then you'd better believe you ARE responsible for them every step of the way. In essence, you will collect an oversize item charge, stiff the handlers for that amount, keep it in your coffers, damage the goods (usually by the disgruntled baggage handlers you stiffed), and then claim you're not responsible. I think the correct term is that you are IRRESPONSIBLE.

Kind regards,
El Desconocido